Anyway, job: day #1 was awesome. But I don't mean to be biased. This is a blog after all, and not worth its weight in electrons if it doesn't follow journalistic standards like, uh, raising hell and reporting news and taking a fair and balanced approach to stories.
Job: day #1 was purportedly awesome to some. To others, perhaps not quite so awesome. There.
Pro: the little pregnant trainee beside me at one point said while our trainer was away: "If I don't get to go soon, this little man is gonna crawl out of my... woman parts... and go for me!" I did not edit for content. That's what she said word for word. She wasn't talking about leaving the store. She was talking about urinating.
Con: the vending machine was out of both Coke and Pepsi. This didn't bother me in the least, but there was plenty of uproar from others. Sunkist Orange Pop quickly worked its way up to the rank of "ugly kissing cousin" in my mind, simply because everyone was grabbing it and grumbling before smashing it to their thirsty lips.
Pro: everyone at that damn store is as nice as peaches! On the outside at least. But who cares? I'll take it! This is quite the change from my old place of employment, where a sullen stare was the best one could hope for because it, at least, was not dripping sarcastic fatalism with the pointy end pointed at your guts.
Con: everyone at that damn store is as nice as peaches. I have spent the last decade of my life pickling in a hostile workplace brine. If these teeth aren't dulled quickly and quietly, I might face an uphill battle towards, oh, interacting on any level with my new coworkers. I'm now the rusty garrote in the pile of strawberries. Sure, the strawberries might be poisoned or at least fake, but they're strawberries!
Yes, I will work on my metaphors. Check.
Pro: in five short hours, I learned everything I never knew about selling something. Man, this information is applicable. Of course, my dark mind see uses for this power far beyond the original intent. How have I come this far in life without realizing the algorithm of manufacturing and satisfying desire in less than two steps? How? It's impossible! But now I know... it's not not impossible...
Con: I feel a bit brainwashed. It's nice because I don't mind.
Enough. Overall, I dig this new job. I figure, after adjusting for the hours I put in for my old job versus my current hourly rate, I'm making (as a rate) only 60% of what I made before, but I'm not going to see the hours I saw before, nowhere close... That's the salaried American's dilemma:
You can figure out that your $80K salary job is shit because you put in 70 hours a week. For an hourly worker, that would pay 85 hours worth of wage with time and a half overtime. Now you're seeing that your $80K job at 40 hours a week gives you $38.46/hr. Not too shabby. But at 85 hours a week, it gives you $18.10/hr. Less than half! Yuck!
And you think about the kind of jobs that make a straight-up $18.10/hr. Here's the news, those jobs are hard to find, unless you've got yourself a trade, and even if you do find one (no trade involved), you probably won't be getting 70 hours of work a week.
Yeah, you put in 60 to 80 hours a week, but it's steady. I'm scheduled for 10 hours of training this week. That's it. I have to learn the new math fast. 60% rate at a quarter of the hours does not bring the chow home to puppy, if you know what I mean. It's a mean world out there. Time to get to work finding other work than work, it seems.
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