Up Early, Little Sleep

This day was bananas.  From the word go, it repeatedly smashed my surprised and oblivious face over and over into the hard surface of reality.  Up early, little sleep, making moves to satisfy the ever growing branching list of things I have to do and people I need to talk to and problems I have to solve.

Poor old me, finally growing up.

"Satisfy" is a word I know how to spell correctly even though it is obviously the wrong way to spell it.

In an interesting turn of events, I have been earnestly advised in the last 24 hours by no less than two of my long-time friends to pretend to be gay.  Needless to say, I am taking their advice to heart.  Why not?  Pretending to be gay could be interesting.  The only thing I'm worrying about of course is, well, the, you know, the hours of upkeep it'll take to pass off as a gay guy.  Every gay guy I know is put together and obviously cares about how they look.  I lack these qualities.  If I were a girl, pulling off the gay fake would be so much easier.  I know lesbians that make the expectations of straight-dude fashion sense look elite.

At a dog park, where my pup likes chewing sticks, a dedicated couple of lesbians (though not married, oh no, could you imagine what sorts of awful stuffs would happen if they could legally acknowledge their commitment to each other?  Why, the divorce rate of this country would most likely plummet as quickly as our nation's worldstage relevance!) and I were chatting it up.  One was looking handsome.  The other was looking like an extra from Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure mated with the lint that clogs up your clothes dryer enough to set the house on fire.  Anyway, as the hapless straight guy, I couldn't help but think that many improvements would be made if the second lesbian would just tuck her shirt, uh, up, and then nearer to her, and then back down, you know, behind the pants...

What I'm saying is that I couldn't possibly pretend to be a gay guy because I'm much much closer to being a lesbian in many ways.  There.  I said it.

Anyway, it's not like my two friends suggested that I pretend for no reason.  They're just trying to find a good way to manage the requirements of the job I'm still training for.  Of course, it's much more interesting to me to not take their advice and see what happens.  That's what I'll do.  It might be a gear-shift without a clutch, but who remembers the smooth transitions?  If nothing else, I might see some interesting sides to a good slice of my local community.