Ptoo!

8:00am: Punched in on a shoestring.  Made it.  Do you have any memory at all at how awesome that feels when you actually still cared?  It's awesome.

9:00am: I spent most of the last hour up and down a ladder bringing product down to the floor.  If this job doesn't help me lose weight, nothing will.  But now it's time for the morning huddle.  Best chance of the whole day to make everybody laugh with the best chance of having something obvious to lampoon.  Oh, and the learning and pep talks too!  Oops.  During the discussion on why I'd need to do much more ladder work, I noticed I wasn't wearing a belt.  Dang.  I've never forgotten to wear a belt before.  It's just practical with the job.  Man.  I hope nobody notices...

10:00am: After two hours up and down a ladder, I'm less than presentable to the customers so I jet into the restroom to fix myself up a bit.  I yank out my shirt and undo my pants button to tuck it back in and PTOO!

There goes the button right into the urinal.  Oh yeah.  I also planned on peeing.  Hm.

Cut to supply closet - blue latex gloves - look of determination - snap snap like it's time to be a surgeon - tongue sticking out between the side of my lips - go into the trap of the urinal that never really flushed all that great since I started working there - flick the button around with the tips of my fingers deep in the pee-water until the button finally lands where I can grab it - pray pray pray that nobody walks in right now - throw the button into the sink and then panic that it will go down the drain - phew! nope! - carefully remove gloves - carefully! - toss - go to other sink and wash hands - look at button and regret removing gloves prematurely - pick up button and soak with soap - keep the water going until it's HOT - sear hands and wash button - drop it into pocket.

Shit shit shit.  No belt and no button makes for difficult customer service, when such service does not include the use of one's nethers.

So before I left to run home and change pants, I let everyone know why it is imperative to wear a belt to work.  I now have a bag of replacement parts, right here on my desk, right beside me, that I will take to work and put in my little cube locker I had no idea what to do with until now:

2 shoes
2 socks
1 pair o pants
1 belt
1 undershirt
1 shirt

I can just go camo or whatever if my undies are somehow ravaged...  check that.

1 pair o undies

Done.