Aaaaand... Day 2.

There was very little enjoyable sleep last night. Anxiety and fear are not good bedfellows. A dream of ex-girlfriends packed in a seaside resort, and me with no pants, and not a one of those old flames in the least bit interested in that fact, well, it doesn't take Jung to figure that one out. Heck, he'd probably get it wrong because it's so obvious (and him so dead).

Up at a quarter after five this morning. Made myself coffee for the first time in months. I'm not sure caffeine is the thing I need, but the warmth is good. Also, slight relief, my last paycheck cleared this morning. Hooray! There are very few worlds in the realm of possibility that would have denied me my check. All the same, it was one of my major worries yesterday.

Me: But what if HR puts my paycheck on hold? How will I pay my mortgage?

Me: Dude, don't worry. They won't do that.

Me: But what if they do?

Me: Dude.

On to worrying about bigger and bolder things...

PS Thank goodness I remembered how to create paragraph breaks.  That business was wigging me out yesterday.

So.

So. I really did it this time. I quit my job. A decent paying job at that. Walked out. No replacement job waiting for me. Mortgage to pay. Bills to pay. I must be insane. Right now I am scared as hell. This hormonal wash my body is providing me feels exactly like a very bad break up. Enough about that though. It's time to move, and move I shall. There's a lot of things for me to do in this world and none of them have anything to do with going to that job everyday (and I mean EVERY DAY) and rolling into a ball of stress every night. Nope. It's time to get a cheap bike, lose 40 pounds, maybe work at a book store, count my loose change, and find a way to do everything I should have been doing these last ten years. Note: what I should have been doing was to not resort to very bad behavior as a way to release all the bad feelings I got from work. My jerk days are over. That much is for sure. I am a new man. Scared as hell. But ready to see what I can actually accomplish.